Feeling Uncomfortable About Obesity?

July 16, 2015July 18, 2015

Feeling Uncomfortable About Obesity?

Let’s have a conversation about Obesity.

No, I mean a real conversation. Not a let’s poke a judgemental finger at the fat people conversation.

Let’s look at the problem, first. This week alone the news reports:

Fire crews rescue 650 obese people a year using winches and cranes (Mirror)
125 diabetes amputations every week and obesity is blamed for 17% rise in operations (Mail Online)
Poor diet, which is thought to be responsible for 70,000 deaths a year and costing the NHS £6bn annually according to Prof Sheila Hollins, chair of the BMA board of science, has led to a call for the Government to impose a 20% tax on sugary drinks (The Guardian)

Big cost to tax payers, massive cost to individuals, not to mention embarrassment for politicians. Clearly, some tough talking is going to have to take place in order to bring the problem under control.

We all know the adage about how much a picture can say, so this is the kind of image the media choose to accompany articles about the obesity crisis. This gem came from the Guardian:

No head, no voice, no humanity. What do pictures like this really say? — A pie eater? A 24-hour a day carer? Someone who has already lost 4 stone? On his way back from the gym? How could we know?

Now the NHS burden can be placed quite firmly on this chap’s shoulders and there’s nothing he can do about it. He can’t turn around and talk to you about why he’s overweight and even if he could move, his head has been chopped off so he physically has no mouth and therefore no voice.

Well, not on this platform anyway.

Being a morbidly obese vegetarian runner, I’m a regular visitor to on-line forums for the overly podgy and let me tell you about the conversations they’re having:

I’ve run out of points this week and I’m panicking about what to have for dinner because I’ve come off a twelve hour shift and I’m hungry – any suggestions?
It’s weigh in tonight, I’m having pizza afterwards and there’s a whole week to make up for it
My diet isn’t working any more. I’m fat/stupid/lazy/a slob/confused (cue reams of suggestions in reply, some genuinely helpful, some shamefully judgemental)
I haven’t lost enough weight for my wedding/my daughter’s wedding/my holiday
My eating has gone so off track since my mother died. It’s been six months and you would have thought I could have pulled it together by now
Some stranger told me today that fat people shouldn’t travel on trains/have tattoos/wear leggings

All paraphrased but all genuinely posted.

And then I came across a group for plus sized ladies with a complete ban on weight loss chat. What do they talk about?

How does this top look with these leggings? Should I wear heels?
Which chaffing shorts work the best?
Which bikinis fit best?
What I’m wearing to work today
My new hair colour
I’m going swimming today! Something I wouldn’t have done without the support of this group!

That’s not to say the other groups don’t have positive posts – they do. And that’s not to say that the weight loss free group doesn’t have posts about keeping healthy – I regularly seek feedback about running as a plus-sizer.

But the environment is so different, so energising, so self-affirming when the focus on how much weight you’re losing and how you’re doing it is taken away. My size is not the most important thing about me – I can write, sing, cook, draw. I make people laugh, I love my charity work and I’d challenge any overweight 40 year old woman to offroad on a bike like I do.

And this is the nub of the matter for me – everything is just so over-simplified and no wonder: do some digging and the advice is all so confusing. Back in the day, fat was to blame and now it’s sugar. We need to move fast food joints away from schools and teach kids how to cook. Even the school holidays are fattening. Measure these ideas against the material I was reading this morning about how the rise in obesity coincided with the rise in the anti-fat movement and a new study suggesting that a high fat diet can impair the function of a hormone that helps you to feel full. The NHS Eatwell plate still promotes ‘plenty of starchy foods’ in the face of the anti-carb movement.

But from what I’ve read recently, the cure to all our obesity problems apparently lies in:

Taxing sugary drinks and snacks
Closing/moving takeaways
Teaching people to cook
Making fat people go to the gym

Think about this for a moment. I’m overweight, so therefore I’m:

Gluttonous and weak minded
Ignorant about food and cooking
Lazy

Weak minded? Ignorant? Lazy?

Really?

Perhaps I’m a one off? I’ve read enough on-line to know that I’m not but let me tell you one thing I do know: I tend not to see fat people any more – I see survivors: survivors of bereavement, illness, depression, domestic violence and post-traumatic stress disorder. Not always but more often than not. I’m training for a 5k charity run in October, I haven’t eaten meat in nearly twenty years and I knock out a home-made from scratch dinner for four on a budget every night. Oh and I’ve survived years of depression.

Everyone has a back story which no one will get to hear if all they ever see is your headless back.

So I propose we start a real conversation – one that will work. Let’s get to the bottom of why people get fat and what they can actually do to reverse this. I’m not speaking about a silver bullet here – do this diet/take this pill/do this exercise. I’m talking about a proper strategy that uses the ingenuity and strength of the human spirit to overcome adversity and acknowledges that we are all individuals with our own metabolisms, hang-ups and personal circumstances.

The aerobics classes I took in my early twenties to lose weight couldn’t finish soon enough but feeling my strong but fat-suit hidden legs doing Zumba at the weekend made me feel completely different

– because what I was doing was utterly relevant. I’m getting fit for my health, not because being fat makes me somehow unworthy of being part of society or having a voice.

I don’t have diabetes, I don’t have any weight related illnesses but because I’m overweight there is this idea going round that I’m going to be expensive later in life, so the UK taxpayer already owns me along with the right to say what they please about me.

But I refuse to be one of The Obese.

I am not a blob with no head, with my back to the camera.

I am full frontal, full throttle and full volume.

I’m not celebrating or promoting obesity, I’m saying we have to completely re-think the way we talk about it because the conversations that are happening on a public and policy making level are not working.

So, yeah, let’s talk about obesity, it’s clear that it needs to happen – but for it to work, it’s got to be two-way. Because that’s what the word conversation means.

An obese person in trainers - a more helpful image? — An obese person in trainers – a more helpful image?

Do you agree? Have I got it all wrong? How can we make things better? Drop me a line below, let me know. Perhaps I’ve missed something. And drop me a line if you’d like more information about the Facebook groups I visit.

For further rants on fat politics:

The damaging lack of self-control that could sink the NHS

It’s not that there’s a skinny person trying to get out

Plus size runner and proud – my top ten tips

Sausage or sizzle – which is better for weight loss?

How to get the body you want this summer

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June 11, 2015June 11, 2015

The Great Thing About…

…cycling is that not only am I strengthening my body but I’m also saving fuel money and giving myself time to think. The riverpath changes all the time and there’s always something new to hear or see.

The smell of the woodland flowers under the beeches, the sun sparkling off the trickling water, the hope that I’ll catch a glimpse of a Grebe or the Heron.

And the great thing about my big, purple clematis is that it…

…dapples the petunias

The great thing about summer is that it happens around this time every year.

I’m a bit in love with summer. Can you tell?

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May 21, 2015June 4, 2015

How to get the body you want this summer

Start loving the one you already have…

I’m feeling excited. Not just because summer is coming but because change is afoot and I like it.

After having seen the fun pictures of fashion blogger Callie Thorpe and friends at Evans’ #stylehasnosize launch last night, I felt something stir from within. It was a feeling of excitement: that a culture of not just body acceptance but body celebration is growing from within the fashion industry and it’s been a long time coming.

People Magazine have endorsed plus-sized Tess Holliday's status as the world's first supermodel to be a size 22 by putting her on their cover this week. Tess, 29, - who became the first size 22 model to sign with a major modelling agency in January this year - recently shot a campaign with Benefit Cosmetic and has appeared in Vogue Italy. — Tess causing a storm on the cover of People magazine this week

Add to this, plus size model Tess Holliday’s feature on the cover of People magazine published today. According to her Instagram post this morning, her remit to the magazine was “I wanted show my body off & they listened”. The result? A beautiful woman creatively captured by photographer James White at home in her own body. She was not an unwanted guest there – she was there by choice and it shows.

Like just about every woman I’ve spoken to, my body has never really felt like my own. Granted, I had some special circumstances to deal with – I grew up as part of a controlling religious organisation that dictated just about every aspect of our lives right down to what we thought and how we acted when we were alone. As young women, our bodies were already owned by our future husbands and children and by the congregation for acquiring new recruits and serving the elders. Man-made rules were handed down as the pronouncements of their god. It never quite rang true with me.

So, when I left at 24 and finally got the education I deserved, naturally I had a teensy bit of a leaning towards feminism.

There, I’ve said it. The dirty word that’s been spat out too many times with regard to body issues and obesity. It’s as though the title of Susie Orbach’s totem of a book ‘Fat is a Feminist Issue’ has become an ignorantly misused sound bite for the fat shamers. The loving and taking control of our bodies has become a feminist issue and therefore all about man-hating – like we’re spiders seeking to eat the men that come anywhere near us.

Balls.

They’re our bodies and we want them back because we like them. Incidentally we like men too. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Now, I realise that not every woman has had the same prescribed and damaging upbringing as I had. But I do talk to a lot of women and the same issues keep coming up.

The need to prescribe to a diet – low fat, low carb, no biscuits/cake/chocolate for a month diet. Are you in the Weight Watchers or Slimming World camp?
I’m dieting for my holiday. I’m dieting for my wedding. I’m dieting for my sister’s wedding. It doesn’t matter what the reason is, there is always some external force at work to change the way we look. Somehow this body won’t be acceptable for whatever we are working towards.
I have to lose my baby weight. As if pregnancy, childbirth and the endless sleep deprivation coupled with unbelievable pressure to breast feed isn’t enough (don’t get me started on breasts by the way), then the media is obsessed with dropping the fat ten minutes after you’ve left the labour ward.
A suspended disbelief that one size fits all. If it did, we’d all be wearing the same shoes.
The need to buy and consume what the dieting industry and media are offering, unaware of the irony that our bodies are bought and consumed by the dieting and media industries. Like Tyler Durden in Fight Club says – we are having our own fat sold back to us.

Good grief, this is all starting to sound a little political. Apologies if this isn’t your bag (but if it is, Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susan Orbach is not just a cracking good read, it’s also a practical approach to controlling your weight and The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is also worth checking out).

We’ll return to the fashion bloggers and why what they are doing is so exciting.

I’ve read enough clinical papers, newspaper articles and media sound bites now to know that the medical community are worried about our health. We have a rising obesity problem in the West and the strain this will put on services is causing great concern.

In some minds, frocks to fit a full bust, bigger belts to cinch a waist over rounded hips and a bikini that celebrates rather than hides a gloriously chunky body are going to normalise fatness and make the problem worse.

But don’t they see? Rather than being part of the problem, beautiful, well cut and on-trend clothes are part of the solution.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that I believe we should normalise fatness and please don’t quote me out of context. I believe we should normalise people being comfortable with the aesthetics of their own body – in that they should take ownership of whether or not it is beautiful.

So whether you are fat, thin, dark skinned, pale skinned, male, female, short, stocky, tall, lean or whatever innumerable permutations of the human body apply to you, they are yours and no one should be making money out of telling you that they are ugly and you need to change them.

What about health? Improving health is part of this, it has to be.

So to this end, let’s do something radical and separate health from aesthetics and moral judgement. Lumping these things together is not just insulting it’s profoundly unhelpful.

As I’ve said before, a body that feels strong and cherished is worth taking care of. We can’t all be skinny but we can all tweak our lifestyles (or overhaul them if we chose) to make them happier and healthier. And this doesn’t necessarily have to involve giving our money and self-esteem to a multi-billion pound industry bent on getting us to spend more by hating what we already have.

I digress again.

Back to my excitement.

I am old enough to have lived through the fledgling but influential low-fat movement of the 1980s. Protein came under fire off the back of the food combining adherents of the 1990s and I’m now sitting back and watching the anti-sugar/anti-carb evangelists with some interest and maybe even a little cynical amusement now. As a seasoned 40-year old I can’t say I’ve seen it all but I’ve seen enough to know that things move in cycles, absolute truth doesn’t exist and prescriptive diets are not an effective long term solution for everyone.

My interests have lead me to read so many inspiring, insightful and sometimes utterly radical and frankly confusing books about the body. About how it is so much more than skin, bones and organs – about how society paints meaning onto it, how the image we see in the mirror is not always what’s there and how it is used as a tool to control our choices.

And I feel like we have reached a point where if we see enough images of fuller figured girls wearing bikinis, beautifully tailored clothes and red lipstick, proudly showing off shapely legs and glorious acres of creamy white bust, the aesthetics of this will no longer be wrong, evil and worthy of distaste. In a utopian future, self-body-hatred, which so often leads to a negative relationship with food will be gone, leaving us big bottomed girls to get on with riding our bikes, safe in the knowledge that each heartbeat will be a little stronger than the one before, even if we’re wearing size 20 Lycra. Perhaps next year we’ll be wearing size 18, maybe even a 16 but this will be a by-product rather than a focal point of a healthier lifestyle.

Perhaps this new aesthetic environment will bring a smile to the writers and theorists of my university days – who knows but I like to think that the girls in London this week are edging us closer to our utopia and having a massive amount of fun while they’re doing it.

Notes:

In the film The Full Monty, Gerald says “Fat, David is a feminist issue…I don’t bloody know (what it’s supposed to mean) do I? But it is”. Body dysmorphia and the male body is just as important and I’m sorry I haven’t had the space to include more about this in my blog post.

You’ll notice the bevy of beauties I’m referring to in my post are pretty young women with luscious, bouncing curls, milky skin and wickedly long eyelashes. I realise that some critics, with some justification, will point out that in this they are as much buying into the beauty myth as the rest of the industry but – one step at a time eh?

Weight Watchers, Slimming World and the dieting industry as a whole: prescriptive diets work wonders for some people – they take the weight off and keep it off. For these people, I can only feel joy, it must feel wonderful to feel the benefits of their hard work. It doesn’t work for me and it doesn’t work for others like me – we must find our own way of taking control of our weight. Shaming and name calling isn’t likely to work either.

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May 13, 2015

Namaste

I live on the outskirts of an old military town and since Joanna Lumley’s campaign to improve the lives of ex-Ghurkhas and their families, the area has seen a considerable influx of Nepalese people.

And unlike so many residents who live round here, I have to say I really like these people: they’ve brought a different dimension to the town and I think we have so much to learn from them.

It makes me sad to hear of yet another earthquake in their homeland and I cannot begin to imagine the sadness they must feel, thinking of the communities they’ve left behind. With all the devastating news reports in the media at the moment, I just wanted to say something positive about the people I’ve encountered here, in what must seem like a very foreign land.

Early in the morning, when I’m cycling my daughter to school, I meet small groups of elderly, well wrapped, brightly coloured Nepalese walking in groups along the river path and through the park. “Good morning” they say and in return I offer a “Namaste”. It’s always at this point that they light up and putting their hands together offer many back.

It took me no time at all to notice that this expression conveyed so much more than one of our own English greetings and having never been to Nepal, I thought I’d do a little research.

Just five minutes looking around on the web turned up so much. The phrase literally means “I bow to you”. The small head nod, the hands gently pressing together, the smile that accompanies it, acknowledges the divine spark that resides within us all. It’s more of a prayer than a greeting, so much richer than “good morning”. It’s more involved and wider than just one person acknowledging another. It’s about souls, much older than bodies, passing the time of day.

This made me think about so much I’ve observed recently.

One spring morning about a year ago, I was sat in the car outside my friend’s flat, waiting for him. Next door, a couple of elderly Nepalese ladies stepped out into the sunshine and it was as though the new green leaves and the bright light filled the second woman with something so enlightening, she simply had to place her hands together and say good morning to the sun. My friend is really ill, which I’m finding most distressing at the moment but that one gesture made me smile.

Then there was the time a friend sent me a picture of a small group of elderly Nepalese sat outside his flat in the car park on deckchairs. They were tightly wrapped as it was a cold November day but because the sun was out, so were they. I’ve never been good at hibernating either.

I’ll also mention the elderly Ghurka who I regularly see making his way into town. His slow shuffle speaks of determination despite infirmity or injury. His broad shoulders, muscular physique and strong hand on his walking stick speak of a dignified life at arms for a country far away from the land of his birth.

There seems to be something open and accepting that’s hardwired into the Nepalese people I’ve met. They go outside, explore, find new places – and the library is usually busy with them. On market day, the town is alive with circles of men talking, the women picking over the vegetables on the stalls and in the parks and gardens, they sit and talk in the sunshine.

I don’t pretend to know very much about their land and their diverse culture. I know there are divisions in the country and that it is recovering from a brutal civil war. The town in which I live is groaning under the weight of this sudden population increase (which I believe has more to do with policy than people) and even the local MP has voiced concern over the locals’ inability to find a park bench to use at peak times. I’ve also read about their caste system, their gender roles and their religious and ideological divisions but I can only go on the elderly Nepalese people I’ve seen (I believe the young have their own basket of problems) – and what I’ve seen is a quiet, respectful, considerate people with a great sense of humour and a thirst for human experience.

I’m not a religious person but I think the concept that we all carry a spark of the divine within us is a sensible one. If, just if, the idea that we all harbour the same life force is true, wouldn’t it clear up so many modern-day woes? Wouldn’t so many of our negative emotions like jealousy and fear which cause so much hurt become not just futile but useless?

There are so many souls hurting in Nepal today because the earth shook – again.

Namaste.

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May 9, 2015July 18, 2015

The damaging lack of self-control that could sink the NHS

What is it about overweight people that reduces some people to hideous hate speak? Is it our chubby cheeks? Our wobbly bottoms? Or our obvious love of lard, burgers and pie?

‘Obese pigs’, ‘people keep putting a fist full of food into their mouths’, ‘stuffing faces’,’ lardies’, ‘being fat is a choice’ and constant referral to laziness, greed and lack of self-control littered a comment section below an article published by the Mail Online this week, written by physician and journalist Dr Max Pemberton.

No stranger to speaking out, this driven psychiatrist and nutritionist wrote a well-reasoned opinion piece about the stress be believes is being put on the NHS by the obese. In terms of style, the article’s awkward use of punning detracted somewhat from its serious content but it’s not that I have a problem with.

Ewww. Apparently, this is what us fatties stuff our faces with all the time. Personally I'd rather go lick the pavement. — Ewww. Apparently, this is what us fatties stuff our faces with all the time. Personally I’d rather go lick the pavement.

The fat shamers of this country are really not helping the overweight to get healthier and unfortunately Dr Pemberton just fed them as much fuel as they wanted. And what pictures accompanied the article? Someone eating a massive burger and two fat ladies sat on a bench overlooking the sea, their rolls apparent but their faces hidden.

Like so many other features about the obese in the media, his words were accompanied by these negative images of fat people as if this is going to shame the overweight, many of whom already suffer from self-confidence problems, into shedding the pounds. It’s simply not going to work.

He’s a psychiatrist. Doesn’t he already know this?

“Most obese people simply do not care about being overweight…we should make such an attitude socially acceptable” he says “that’s not to say you have to be cruel”. I’m not sure I agree with his first statement one hundred per cent but he is entitled to his opinion.

“We also need to address the issue of what is making everyone fat” I agree with him here and his assertion that a fat tax could “fund psychological help to support those who struggle to lose weight”.

Nice one but there are still two conflicting stories running alongside each other here. On one hand, you have the journalist out to sell an emotive article to a readership and on the other, a doctor who wants to do something about the problem all rolled into one. It creates a mixed message.

So, what now? Personally, I’m going to keep on campaigning for more positive images of fat people in the media.

I want to see sexy, vibrant people who pull on their running shoes, go the gym, walk their kids to school, cycle to the shops – because in reality, that’s what a lot of us do.

Yes, exercise alone won’t tackle a weight problem but a healthier feeling body is a body that feels more worth caring for, worth feeding right. Inactivity isn’t a choice for some people but for those that can increase their exercise, what can we do as a nation to get them out, get them moving, get them feeling a part of something? In my mind it’s giving them self-worth.

It’s getting the message out there that you don’t need to be beach body ready, you don’t have to be running ready, you don’t have to be fitness ready. You just need the confidence to get out, do what you can and see where it leads you.

The This Girl Can Campaign. Let's make a change through more body positive and less fat hating — The This Girl Can Campaign. Let’s make a change through more body positive and less fat hating

So, let’s see Dr Pemberton’s article accompanied by a link to the ‘This Girl Can’ campaign. Why not show a plump woman ordering a salad and falafel at a health food van rather than a chap in a chip shop? Let’s show the faces of the overweight so that they become human beings – they don’t want to be bullied or shamed, they want some answers about why dieting for thirty years has got them nowhere.

They want to know why their perceived lack of self-control is somehow worse and more damaging then that of some Neanderthals commenting anonymously on a website.

For the record, I haven’t eaten meat for nearly twenty years – and I’d rather eat the box than the vegetarian crap they serve up at fast food restaurants. I run or cycle at least five times a week, walk at the weekends and eat more fruit and veg than anyone else I know. I was taught how to cook by my mother and at school but I’m also able to learn. I have never smoked and I drink no more than a few glasses of wine a month.

I am not a faceless human lump, I am a vibrant, valid and beautiful human being who is struggling to lose weight so that I can feel healthy. I don’t see that promoting positive images of plus size women and seeing them as fashionable, attractive, valuable human beings makes me part of the “ludicrous cult of the obese” – (to quote Dr Pemberton).

I’m not interested in being the object of hate for some small minded idiots who’ll stub out their fag and open another can of beer, smug in the fact that their vices are more easily hidden.

Hair slapped back, no make up but wearing a massive grin, this is what a size 22 girl looks like after she's been out for a run. Put that in your fat-shaming pipe and smoke it! — Hair slapped back, no make up but wearing a massive grin, this is what a size 22 girl looks like after she’s been out for a run. Put that in your fat-shaming pipe and smoke it!

And as a finishing note, compare the attitude of the fat-haters to the fellow runners I met out by the river early this morning. Slogging my final km, two young women bounced past me, light on their feet and chatting happily. They both smiled huge grins in acknowledgement of my effort and I even got a fist pump. This is what will help us, the fatties, the obese, the slobs, the lumps, the burden on the NHS to lose weight.

Not idiots with empty heads, stupid words and unhelpful images.

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May 5, 2015May 15, 2015

What a fat lot of good weight shaming does – an alternative view of the plus size row

I posted my dismay at some bizarre comments made by the Loose Women team last month about whether high street fashion should be available in sizes above 14-16. Here it is in it’s glory but be prepared to shout at the screen.

So many people were as shocked and appalled as I was that one member of the panel, Jamelia, made an apology the following day. This carried more of the features of a backtrack than a sorry but being an ambassador for ITV’s Good Morning Britain #selfieesteem campaign I guess she had little choice. (But do check out Natasha Devon’s part in the campaign and her bid to banish ‘fat talk’.)

“I do not think it is right to facilitate people living an unhealthy lifestyle” she smiled “I think you should be uncomfortable if you are unhealthy.”

Janet Street-Porter (no stranger to controversy) chipped in with “I don’t want to demonise these girls but at the same time I don’t want to normalise being morbidly obese.” Rolling these two words around in her mouth, her concerns seemed to centre around mobility issues in the short term and health issues in later life. I can only suppose she thought these were valid anchor points for her argument but she soon slipped her mooring when she implied that denying teenagers fashionable clothes would motivate them to lose weight.

So, at what weight does a girl give up the right to feel good about herself? At what BMI does she have to hand over her red lipstick and stockings? At what size does she no longer have the right to wear high heels and up to the minute fashion?

Size 16? Possibly an 18 according to the Loose Women crew (the following day this was increased to 20). Certainly not if you are a size 24 or, incidentally a size 0.

The word ‘kaftan’ was mentioned once.

Tell all of this to successful model, fashion blogger and celebrity Tess Holliday. Sporting stunning looks, big lashy eyes and tumbling locks, her portfolio includes swimwear and lingerie shoots. She has no shortage of va-va-voom but her gorgeous curves fall outside of what our ladies above would call ‘normal’. Seriously though, putting her in a shapeless kaftan would be nothing short of a crime.

(Check out Tess’ blog and see also fashion bloggers Callie Thorpe, Dannielle Varnier, Bethany Rutter, Georgina Horne – find their blogs on my Links page).

L.A. based Tess along with this small group of influential and rather fabulous British plus size fashion bloggers were featured in Channel 4’s Plus Sized Wars – the subject of the Loose Women’s lunchtime chat. (Available to view until 20/04/15 – see Channel 4’s website.)

Aired on the 21st of April this year, the programme explored the fashion industry’s awakening to a previously undertapped corner of the market. Three companies: 80 year established high street staple Evans, Australian Taking Shape and market trader brainchild Yours are after the plus sized fashion conscious girl with an eye for style and money in her pocket.

But, it’s clear from their clumsy comments, that the intelligent media-savvy individuals sat around the Loose Women panel that day had understood little and misunderstood much from the Channel 4 programme.

This in mind, these are the things I have a problem with:

The assumption that every girl who is a size 20 cannot run after her children or enjoy life to the full. I regularly run 4k and cycle 10k and yes, I chase my six year old around the park and regularly run up the stairs (I mean, who really has the time to walk?).
The assumption that feeling uncomfortable will make you lose weight. It won’t, it will make you go eat more cake.
The assumption that everyone who is big is greedy and lazy and therefore deserves to be. This kind of Dickensian reasoning is just ignorant of the kind of mental and physical health problems that can be behind weight issues (and a quick bit of research will reveal the damage done by the bullshit dietary advice about fat we were spoonfed in the 1980s/1990s).
The misleading assumption that teenage girls can be shamed into losing weight. This is a time when a girl’s self-esteem can be at its lowest and is so easily scuppered. If we send out the wrong messages about their self-worth then they are lost. Punishing a girl for being overweight at this age is utterly counterproductive (regardless of what Janet Street Porter says).

What’s next? Punish everyone with an unhealthy lifestyle? Shall we start saying that smokers can’t have coordinating accessories or that drinkers can’t wear makeup?

The Queen of Small Things — What do you think of when you see this picture? Someone who has never smoked? Drinks a few glasses of wine a month? Hasn’t eaten meat for nearly twenty years? Or a girl running in size twenty trousers? Yep, I’m guilty of all of the above.

Let’s separate morals and self-esteem because even bad people can have a good haircut (something to think about in the run up to the General Election).

I think a more intelligent approach is in order:

The ‘This Girl Can’ campaign. A friend of mine teaches teenagers with mental health issues. Her classroom walls feature positive images of women of all sizes sweating, getting strong and feeling vital and she’s had a great response from the girls in her care.
And how about the ‘Too fat to run’ club interviewed running the London Marathon this year? Plus size women can’t run after a toddler? These women run over 26 miles for fun.
What better way to get people feeling good and feeling fit than by telling them that they have a good body, a strong body, a valid and beautiful body that’s worth training?
Promote the message that it’s more important to be healthy than to be slim. For some of us ‘slim’ is a dream in some far off tomorrow. Fit is putting your trainers on or getting in the saddle right now and doing what it takes to get your heart pumping.
Let’s remove the stigma that comes along with being overweight, from health. The focus should be on moving and eating healthily, not on what bad, lazy people fatties are.
Let’s think about the underlying causes of obesity, instead of reducing people to wearing shapeless, unflattering and soul-destroying clothes.
It’s a matter of shifting perspective and opening your mind to the fact that good people sometimes make unwise choices and unwise people sometimes make good choices. There may be an unseen story behind what is immediately apparent.
One of the biggest concerns the NHS has at the moment is the rise in diabetes. Will someone, somewhere please point me to the clinical research that concludes that weight shaming is the best way of tackling this. I’d be genuinely interested in reading it.
Hats off to the likes of Sainsbury’s TU and Mountain Warehouse for their fine ranges of sports/outdoor clothing up to a size 22 – they are the only mainstream places I’ve found stylish running gear off the peg in my size. Shame on everyone else. You’re not helping (but do drop me a line if you’ve found another great source).

Fabulous red shoes — An unbelievably good find at TK Maxx this week, I’ll not be running after my six year old in these but it won’t be because of my weight. I wore them to the supermarket, just because I could.

I’m the first one to acknowledge that the young, curvy body of the beautiful women in Channel 4’s documentary will change when they get older. Popping out a couple of kids and blowing out forty candles on a cake changes a girl and the potential sagging of the later years affects those of us of a more voluptuous nature to a greater extent than our trimmer counterparts. This is one point on which I can agree with JSP but from what I’ve read, self loathing is rarely the first step to making life-changing decisions. I’d say that self-belief and self-worth are probably a better starting point.

So I believe we have a responsibility towards overweight young women but we can’t assume that they’re lazy, greedy and lacking in commitment. They want to feel good about themselves. They want to feel powerful, sexy, valid and we have to help them to do this.

Feel utterly fabulous in this pretty polka dot number from Simply Be

Let’s see more of the well designed fashion Tess, Callie, Danielle, Bethany and Georgina are peddling. Let’s have a bit more body acceptance – no, body joy. Let’s celebrate the feeling of looking good. Us big girls are not all burger eating, couch surfing slobs who don’t give a shit about our cholesterol or heart disease. Some of us regularly run, cycle, dance and swim despite our wobbly bits. And for those who really need to lose weight for medical reasons, let’s make it about medical reasons. Let’s make the journey more positive every step of the way – after all, JSP’s hypothetical size twenty 18-year old might have been a size twenty-four last year and doing up the zip on her new, crisp polka dot frock has made all the blood, sweat and tears worth while.

We just want to wear some delicious clothes and feel fantastic while we do it.

And it’s going to take a bit more than a bit of lunch time chit-chat to stop us.

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March 13, 2015March 16, 2015

The Little Things I love This Week – mid March

Bike along the river — The view from my handlebars – my fellow cyclist runs ahead to check out some tiny flowers

It’s nearly a year since we lost our big car. A huge Ford Galaxy with much room for camping gear, trips home to Cornwall and outings with carfree friends. She was a workhorse of a vehicle and when she finally turned up her toes, we were pretty stumped.

One year on and although we now have a beautiful blue banger outside the gate, my daughter is more than used to cycling to school, I’ve taken up running (as well as cycling) and inspired by all this, my husband has also dug out his bib shorts and running shoes. We live next to the calm Blackwater River, which means that if the ground is dry, getting around traffic-free is simple and with each week the colour palette changes. Delightful and much more fun than sitting at traffic lights.

I’d given up cycling for the winter but with the bikes checked over and helmets dug out from under the stairs, we start again in earnest next week. Can’t wait!

To rival my Mother’s little black and gold visitor last week, look what turned up in my front garden. I’m well happy.

And finally, if you’ve had enough of me banging on about spring, look away now but

I spent good Sunday morning chill out time changing beds last weekend, just for the sheer joy of seeing the sheets blowing on the line – the first outing my peg bag has had this year. For me, this is a big deal because I hate washing hanging around the house and I just love the fresh linen smell of bringing it in off the line in the evening.

This is the pegbag I made last year to celebrate spring. The stichtwork on the front is a little difficult to see, so I will post better pictures sometime soon but it’s based on a pattern from Christine Leech’s rather delicious book Little Sew & Sew.

Have a happy week, people. If you have your own spring rituals, do share.