running – Page 2 – The Queen of Small Things

May 5, 2015May 15, 2015

What a fat lot of good weight shaming does – an alternative view of the plus size row

I posted my dismay at some bizarre comments made by the Loose Women team last month about whether high street fashion should be available in sizes above 14-16. Here it is in it’s glory but be prepared to shout at the screen.

So many people were as shocked and appalled as I was that one member of the panel, Jamelia, made an apology the following day. This carried more of the features of a backtrack than a sorry but being an ambassador for ITV’s Good Morning Britain #selfieesteem campaign I guess she had little choice. (But do check out Natasha Devon’s part in the campaign and her bid to banish ‘fat talk’.)

“I do not think it is right to facilitate people living an unhealthy lifestyle” she smiled “I think you should be uncomfortable if you are unhealthy.”

Janet Street-Porter (no stranger to controversy) chipped in with “I don’t want to demonise these girls but at the same time I don’t want to normalise being morbidly obese.” Rolling these two words around in her mouth, her concerns seemed to centre around mobility issues in the short term and health issues in later life. I can only suppose she thought these were valid anchor points for her argument but she soon slipped her mooring when she implied that denying teenagers fashionable clothes would motivate them to lose weight.

So, at what weight does a girl give up the right to feel good about herself? At what BMI does she have to hand over her red lipstick and stockings? At what size does she no longer have the right to wear high heels and up to the minute fashion?

Size 16? Possibly an 18 according to the Loose Women crew (the following day this was increased to 20). Certainly not if you are a size 24 or, incidentally a size 0.

The word ‘kaftan’ was mentioned once.

Tell all of this to successful model, fashion blogger and celebrity Tess Holliday. Sporting stunning looks, big lashy eyes and tumbling locks, her portfolio includes swimwear and lingerie shoots. She has no shortage of va-va-voom but her gorgeous curves fall outside of what our ladies above would call ‘normal’. Seriously though, putting her in a shapeless kaftan would be nothing short of a crime.

(Check out Tess’ blog and see also fashion bloggers Callie Thorpe, Dannielle Varnier, Bethany Rutter, Georgina Horne – find their blogs on my Links page).

L.A. based Tess along with this small group of influential and rather fabulous British plus size fashion bloggers were featured in Channel 4’s Plus Sized Wars – the subject of the Loose Women’s lunchtime chat. (Available to view until 20/04/15 – see Channel 4’s website.)

Aired on the 21st of April this year, the programme explored the fashion industry’s awakening to a previously undertapped corner of the market. Three companies: 80 year established high street staple Evans, Australian Taking Shape and market trader brainchild Yours are after the plus sized fashion conscious girl with an eye for style and money in her pocket.

But, it’s clear from their clumsy comments, that the intelligent media-savvy individuals sat around the Loose Women panel that day had understood little and misunderstood much from the Channel 4 programme.

This in mind, these are the things I have a problem with:

The assumption that every girl who is a size 20 cannot run after her children or enjoy life to the full. I regularly run 4k and cycle 10k and yes, I chase my six year old around the park and regularly run up the stairs (I mean, who really has the time to walk?).
The assumption that feeling uncomfortable will make you lose weight. It won’t, it will make you go eat more cake.
The assumption that everyone who is big is greedy and lazy and therefore deserves to be. This kind of Dickensian reasoning is just ignorant of the kind of mental and physical health problems that can be behind weight issues (and a quick bit of research will reveal the damage done by the bullshit dietary advice about fat we were spoonfed in the 1980s/1990s).
The misleading assumption that teenage girls can be shamed into losing weight. This is a time when a girl’s self-esteem can be at its lowest and is so easily scuppered. If we send out the wrong messages about their self-worth then they are lost. Punishing a girl for being overweight at this age is utterly counterproductive (regardless of what Janet Street Porter says).

What’s next? Punish everyone with an unhealthy lifestyle? Shall we start saying that smokers can’t have coordinating accessories or that drinkers can’t wear makeup?

The Queen of Small Things — What do you think of when you see this picture? Someone who has never smoked? Drinks a few glasses of wine a month? Hasn’t eaten meat for nearly twenty years? Or a girl running in size twenty trousers? Yep, I’m guilty of all of the above.

Let’s separate morals and self-esteem because even bad people can have a good haircut (something to think about in the run up to the General Election).

I think a more intelligent approach is in order:

The ‘This Girl Can’ campaign. A friend of mine teaches teenagers with mental health issues. Her classroom walls feature positive images of women of all sizes sweating, getting strong and feeling vital and she’s had a great response from the girls in her care.
And how about the ‘Too fat to run’ club interviewed running the London Marathon this year? Plus size women can’t run after a toddler? These women run over 26 miles for fun.
What better way to get people feeling good and feeling fit than by telling them that they have a good body, a strong body, a valid and beautiful body that’s worth training?
Promote the message that it’s more important to be healthy than to be slim. For some of us ‘slim’ is a dream in some far off tomorrow. Fit is putting your trainers on or getting in the saddle right now and doing what it takes to get your heart pumping.
Let’s remove the stigma that comes along with being overweight, from health. The focus should be on moving and eating healthily, not on what bad, lazy people fatties are.
Let’s think about the underlying causes of obesity, instead of reducing people to wearing shapeless, unflattering and soul-destroying clothes.
It’s a matter of shifting perspective and opening your mind to the fact that good people sometimes make unwise choices and unwise people sometimes make good choices. There may be an unseen story behind what is immediately apparent.
One of the biggest concerns the NHS has at the moment is the rise in diabetes. Will someone, somewhere please point me to the clinical research that concludes that weight shaming is the best way of tackling this. I’d be genuinely interested in reading it.
Hats off to the likes of Sainsbury’s TU and Mountain Warehouse for their fine ranges of sports/outdoor clothing up to a size 22 – they are the only mainstream places I’ve found stylish running gear off the peg in my size. Shame on everyone else. You’re not helping (but do drop me a line if you’ve found another great source).

Fabulous red shoes — An unbelievably good find at TK Maxx this week, I’ll not be running after my six year old in these but it won’t be because of my weight. I wore them to the supermarket, just because I could.

I’m the first one to acknowledge that the young, curvy body of the beautiful women in Channel 4’s documentary will change when they get older. Popping out a couple of kids and blowing out forty candles on a cake changes a girl and the potential sagging of the later years affects those of us of a more voluptuous nature to a greater extent than our trimmer counterparts. This is one point on which I can agree with JSP but from what I’ve read, self loathing is rarely the first step to making life-changing decisions. I’d say that self-belief and self-worth are probably a better starting point.

So I believe we have a responsibility towards overweight young women but we can’t assume that they’re lazy, greedy and lacking in commitment. They want to feel good about themselves. They want to feel powerful, sexy, valid and we have to help them to do this.

Feel utterly fabulous in this pretty polka dot number from Simply Be

Let’s see more of the well designed fashion Tess, Callie, Danielle, Bethany and Georgina are peddling. Let’s have a bit more body acceptance – no, body joy. Let’s celebrate the feeling of looking good. Us big girls are not all burger eating, couch surfing slobs who don’t give a shit about our cholesterol or heart disease. Some of us regularly run, cycle, dance and swim despite our wobbly bits. And for those who really need to lose weight for medical reasons, let’s make it about medical reasons. Let’s make the journey more positive every step of the way – after all, JSP’s hypothetical size twenty 18-year old might have been a size twenty-four last year and doing up the zip on her new, crisp polka dot frock has made all the blood, sweat and tears worth while.

We just want to wear some delicious clothes and feel fantastic while we do it.

And it’s going to take a bit more than a bit of lunch time chit-chat to stop us.

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April 22, 2015

This girl bloody well can

I went for a run along the river this morning. It was all sunshine, ducks nestled in narcissus, water rippling like ribbons tied to a fan, fish wagging their heads to fight the current.

Breath taking as they were, it was not the pleasing ambience that most caught my attention; it was a brief exchange with an old lady out for a walk. And by brief, I mean no more than a greeting and a smile.

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know I’ve recently finished the NHS Couch to 5K plan (if you’d like a nose, check it out here) and I got a little despondent last week when it was clear that I was a) had not lost weight and b) was unlikely to be running 5K any time soon. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve become so darn addicted to running (non-run days occasionally drive me to twitching in a cupboard) I would have packed it in by now but after some research I found some very reassuring information online.

Firstly, that increased blood volume, muscle growth and water retention can contribute to gaining weight in the first few weeks of taking up a high impact exercise regime. In my case, I guess the hot cross buns with butter that my husband brings to me as a sofa snack offering at around 10pm every night don’t help but I had hoped to see some shift on the scales to accompany the happily re-emerging cheekbones and waist.

Secondly, many people don’t complete the 5K in nine weeks. Some say that it should be called the ‘Couch to 30 minutes’ running plan but I guess it doesn’t have quite the same ring, even if it is perhaps a little closer to the truth.

So the running brings the good vibes, the improved body image, better cardiovascular and mental health and cheekbones but after my encounter this morning I decided there’s one overriding reason why I run. One reason to top them all.

And that’s because I can.

But perhaps it’s even more than that.

The RIver Blackwater — The River Blackwater where I run and cycle my daughter to and from school. Sometimes we stop to play poohsticks.

Because the eighty-something lady I met, albeit briefly, this morning taught me something. The river path is stony and uneven, muddy in places but the water, birds and sunshine this morning felt like spring in a bottle and along the path she came, stick in each hand, shuffling forwards, painful step by painful step. She wore a vibrant raspberry coloured coat, fastened to the chin and a rather dapper looking chequered cap in blue and white placed carefully upon a gently coiffured perm.

She smiled as I approached, a big, toothy grin. We exchanged pleasantries and as I ran past, her head turned a little as she watched me go on by.

There was something in her smile: perhaps a memory of when she could run? I thought of the days before her sticks: maybe she’d chased her children through this meadow or thrown sticks from the bridge with some long ago lover – her mouth and arms open wide with life, air and happiness.

So I run not just because I can but also for those who cannot: for example, my half marathon running friend who fought his own disabilities to raise money for other charities, only to get struck down by a debilitating disease. I run on behalf of my Dad, who’s health now allows him as far as the beach with the dog; my Mum, a breast cancer survivor (I wear something pink every day); and people like the lady I met this morning. These legs are strong, my heart is healthy and although most doctors find my bmi offensive, this is a good body and I’m so very grateful that it works well.

But that’s not all. I’m also running to make a tangible difference. The charity I write for, The Silent Bleed, supports suffers of the rare neurological condition Superficial Siderosis along with their families, carers and physicians. But they need money in order to do this – which is why I’ll be running 5K in October to help bring in the needed funds.

Beating the odds, doing the unexpected, finding new challenges – that’s what keeps us going and moving forward. What do you do just because you can?

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April 16, 2015May 20, 2015

The top seven life lessons I’ve learned from running

Think about running and do you imagine slogging yourself until you’re beetroot red and fit to drop? Or maybe you think it’s just for svelte Lycra clad bodies on after-office treadmills? If you do, you would not be alone (and I’ll confess, I used to think like that).

“Are you sure you should?” and “That’s fantastic, good luck” were comments from both ends of the spectrum of disbelief when I introduced my family and friends to the idea that I was going to start running in January this year but I bought my shoes in the sales and from there on in, I was committed to pounding the dirt twice, three times, sometimes four times a week.

Blossom — I don’t stop often but when I do it’s because I need to record something stunning.

I haven’t lost a great deal of weight in the past four months but I have lost a good clothes size and gained a whole cartload of confidence. What I hadn’t expected was to learn so much from the experience but this is how running has changed more than just my physiology:

Keeping going. I have two moments I struggle with on a half hour run: about thirty seconds into it when, despite all the times I’ve done it before, the synapses impishly fire up ‘Can I do this?’ and about a third of the way through, my body groans ‘How much further?’. It would be easy to give up and go home at either point but I’ve learned that these stages pass quickly, happen every time and yes, my body and mind can cope. So now, when I’m propping myself up on the stove cooking dinner after a particularly long day I can say to myself ‘Yes, I can keep going’ when I’d rather collapse in a heap on the sofa and allow the kids to forage.
A bad run is still a run. I read this on the NHS Couch to 5K site and I’ve found this is a concept which stretches far beyond the river path where I run. There are days when tiredness, injury or just plain lack of motivation means I don’t run at my best but effort tends to be cumulative, so whatever I’ve managed to throw at something, however menial it might seem at the time, is still effort. You never know where you’ll learn your lessons, who will find your failure inspiring or what strengths you’ll be building in the process.
Just me and the seagulls – running on an early morning beach
Taking time out is good for everyone. My run is an opportunity for a very special kind of selfishness: I cannot take my children with me; I cannot pop to the shop for bread and milk, they do not fit into my armband and I cannot cook dinner or fold the laundry either for that matter (I feel challenged enough as it is dragging my body over my 3.5k route without having a cooker or laundry basket in tow). Nope, it’s just me, the air and the sound of my feet hitting the ground. It’s good for my cardiovascular health (which means my kids will have me around for longer), my mental health (which means my husband should stay around for longer) and I get some headspace to think. What’s not to like?
Don’t be afraid to run at different paces. I have a charity 5K run to do in September and I’ve just started interval training in order to up my distance and my speed. Being new to running, I hadn’t come across the complexities of training schedules before and six months ago, I would have thought that putting your shoes on and cracking out at whatever pace you could was enough. Now I know that varying pace is beneficial (especially for burning fat and increasing speed over time) but this carries over into everyday life too. Going at something full pelt is not always the best strategy – sometimes slowing down for a while gives a burst of energy, time to think and gets you there quicker in the long run.
Couch to 5K started me running, the stripes keep me going.

The wrong equipment doesn’t have to be a disaster. I’m not good at having other people around me when I’m going through my exit procedure because something always gets forgotten. I have an armband for my phone, a pink water bottle with a handle through it and a little wrist strap for my door key. The one time I left home without my phone I felt quite lost at first. Using it as both a route tracker and music player I used to listen to the C25K podcasts on it. Leaving it at behind, however, allowed me to enjoy the birds singing in the trees rather than a bird chattering in my ear and it just goes to show that some barriers are more mental than physical. Having completed the plan a while ago, I just use it to keep track of time and speed now and run to the rhythm of my feet. There are three things I’d never run without, however: my running shoes, my water bottle and the M&S sports bra which I suspect was made in a Glasgow shipyard.
My body is fit and strong. To look at me, you wouldn’t think I was a runner. I’m a plus size and although I’ve been a vegetarian for nearly twenty years, I’m sure the average Jo on the street would put me down as a poster child for the local pie shop. Truth is, I live on hummus, bulgar wheat and vegetables and yes, the odd bit of homemade chocolate cake. What I have gleaned from the experience is that my body isn’t in the bin just yet. Changing shape is much more important than losing weight for me and that feeling well, building strength and achieving my goals does wonders for the self-esteem. I want to lose weight in order to run and not the other way around.
Do what you can when you can. People often look confused and sometimes uncomfortable when I say that I run because others can’t. Every time I jog passed someone who clearly cannot run because of any number of reasons, I feel happy that I have the strength and ability to do so. A good friend of mine used to run half marathons for charity and now that he cannot run, I run for him. Check out the Silent Bleed link on this site and keep checking back here for more details of the event I’m taking part in later in the year.

Finishing couch to 5K — A little flushed but feeling chuffed. A little selfie moment upon completion of C25K.

You may not be a runner – you may cycle, swim or play badminton but what principles of your own discipline have you been able to carry through into your life? Drop me a comment below, I’d love to know.

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March 13, 2015March 16, 2015

The Little Things I love This Week – mid March

Bike along the river — The view from my handlebars – my fellow cyclist runs ahead to check out some tiny flowers

It’s nearly a year since we lost our big car. A huge Ford Galaxy with much room for camping gear, trips home to Cornwall and outings with carfree friends. She was a workhorse of a vehicle and when she finally turned up her toes, we were pretty stumped.

One year on and although we now have a beautiful blue banger outside the gate, my daughter is more than used to cycling to school, I’ve taken up running (as well as cycling) and inspired by all this, my husband has also dug out his bib shorts and running shoes. We live next to the calm Blackwater River, which means that if the ground is dry, getting around traffic-free is simple and with each week the colour palette changes. Delightful and much more fun than sitting at traffic lights.

I’d given up cycling for the winter but with the bikes checked over and helmets dug out from under the stairs, we start again in earnest next week. Can’t wait!

To rival my Mother’s little black and gold visitor last week, look what turned up in my front garden. I’m well happy.

And finally, if you’ve had enough of me banging on about spring, look away now but

I spent good Sunday morning chill out time changing beds last weekend, just for the sheer joy of seeing the sheets blowing on the line – the first outing my peg bag has had this year. For me, this is a big deal because I hate washing hanging around the house and I just love the fresh linen smell of bringing it in off the line in the evening.

This is the pegbag I made last year to celebrate spring. The stichtwork on the front is a little difficult to see, so I will post better pictures sometime soon but it’s based on a pattern from Christine Leech’s rather delicious book Little Sew & Sew.

Have a happy week, people. If you have your own spring rituals, do share.

A little rabbit, a shirt and a pair of unmentionables adorn the front of the pegbag, worked in backstitch with tiny roses, sequins and buttons.

Looks tropical but it's only my sunny backyard — Looks tropical but it’s only my sunny backyard

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March 4, 2015March 16, 2015

The Little Things I Love This Week

Blossom in Hyde Park — I had to go to Hyde Park to find this little beauty.

It’s spring by name – metrological spring covers the months of March, April and May, so this week sees the first official week of my favourite season. Of course, the naysayers will point out that the natural world is as far removed from our Gregorian calendar as say, many politicians are from their ideals but I say in this instance, we’ll give it a name and let nature grow into it.

Tanking across Hyde Park for a little retail therapy on Saturday(while the Hubster and the small one were enjoying the Science Museum) I found this little beauty. I live on the edge of an old orchard and not a blossom have I seen yet, I had to come into London for that.

In case you’re wondering, yes I did buy something on Oxford Street – a rather fabulous little number. It will sit in my wardrobe and sing to me until I can find a suitable occasion to wear it. Have a quick squizz here – it looks even more gorgeous on, I just need to find the right orange shoes to go with it now. Any suggestions gratefully received.

Crocus in the greenery — Purple and green – one of my favourite combinations

LIttle white crocus — This little white crocus was the first to pop open

And these little babies have been busy coming up in my garden. I bought a random bag of crocuses last autumn and made it my business to plant them randomly so that I’d forget where they’d pop up. I’m easily entertained.

Sainsbury's Cookbook — A new cookbook for me makes everyone happy

The sassy little dress was not the only treat I bought myself this week. Check this out. I’ve had a darn good rummage around in this, the latest addition to my gargantuan library of cookbooks. The thing that makes the just-out Sainsbury’s Cookbook (and what I also love about Sainsbury’s magazine – I don’t work for them, honest!) is that it uses pretty simple ingredients in a rather fabulous way. I reckon my family will be well up for the Buffalo wings and the prawn, feta, tomato and chilli stew. Personally, the trio of dips and the grilled halloumi salad are well and truly floating my boat at the moment as are the pecan caramel cinnamon buns and the Pastel de Santiago (a Spanish lemon and almond cake). Expect pictures of my own efforts soon.

And finally, in order to offset the effects of my culinary pleasures, I broke the 3k mark twice this week. This is a considerable achievement for me as I only started running seven weeks ago. I’ve been following the NHS’ Couch to 5K plan and if you’ve heard about it and you’ve been toying with the idea of digging out your running shoes, do it. I’ve gone from collapsing at the supermarket checkout after having dashed for the forgotten milk/cheese/butter/beer just a couple of months ago to perving over new running shoes with my mate who’s also just taken up running.

Running is addictive. Running has made me happy. 3K is an achievement and the 5K charity run I’m doing in October no longer seems like the hurdle it once was. (Read more about The Silent Bleed, the charity I work with, here).

In fact, I’m off for a run now. There’s some bright, spring sunshine to be had out there and I’m on the lookout for blossom.

I hope I’ve inspired you to get outside and find your own signs of early spring this week. Whether you’re running, walking or getting dragged along by the dog, do share how it’s made you feel – and keep a lookout for fabulous orange shoes (but they’re best found in a shoe shop).

QOST xxx

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